By Iona Michael
The constant reminder that my phone had something to show me, curated for me, at all times, gave me a strange sense of dread within myself. Fried pixels shone up from my screen, the faded words “For You” staring back at me. What had I been doing with my time if the tik tok “For You” page was permanently burnt into my screen? At first I was in denial, I had an older phone model, of course my screen was carrying the weight of that. (It was actually the battery, which would nearly explode just a few months later!) I reset my phone in a hurry, “For You” was still there when I turned it back on. I remained unable to accept what this meant. I researched viruses that may have been snuck into the system and cures for them. I tried many aids, to no avail. Eventually, I was forced to face the hard truth. This was my doing, I had to deal with the consequences of my actions. My screen time.
I think I knew from the beginning what the answer had always been. I was averaging over 4 hours a day just on tik tok, and countless hours on other social media sites. The excuses for the amount of hours spent on my phone were never ending. I just watched tik tok for recipes (that I’ve never eaten), for crafting tutorials (that I’ve never tried), for workouts (that I’ve never done.) All of these videos bookmarked with a satisfying push of a button and piled into a folder corresponding with the type of content it was. This was, in my mind, for “organization”, to make it easier for myself to find the meaningless video I deemed important at a later date. I rarely looked back at what I had saved and if I did, I found too many things to do, to try, to learn. Seeking inspiration and knowledge isn’t a bad thing but it can be overwhelming when there’s too much of it, and I definitely felt overwhelmed. I mistook this discomfort and anxiety as excitement and inspiration, further pulling me into the abyss of the internet and away from what I was really searching for.
At 19, I know it’s not very common for people of my age to not be on social media, and I do often have a fear of missing out on something, but when I sit without it for a moment I realize that the joy of missing out is sometimes wonderful. I deleted tik tok many years ago now, but I still have Instagram, with a self-imposed limit of 30 minutes a day. This arrangement isn’t perfect, I find myself pressing the 5 more minutes option more often than not when that half hour is up. With the terms of service getting longer and more confusing by the day, with less and less protections for consumer safety and privacy, I would love to fully remove myself from the space within this year. The semi-recent addition of Instagram reels has also made it very easy for me to fall back into my old tik tok doom scrolling habits, and when I’m scrolling, I very rarely find content that I resonate with and want to be consuming. I’m not saying that I’m flawlessly executing a limited-tech lifestyle, or that I hate technology as a whole. In fact the last essay I wrote in high school was about the importance of online friendships and communities. I’m eternally grateful for the things I have experienced and learned, and the people that I’ve met because of online spaces.
Being aware of how technology is making us feel, and utilizing it in a genuinely helpful and positive way is incredibly important for all of us to do. Social media specifically created a new and exciting way to connect, that we didn’t see the drawbacks to until it was too late. My grandparents saw the mass adoption of television in their youth, my parents got the internet as teenagers. Now these forms of entertainment are so ingrained and even necessary in our everyday lives that it has become odd to not use them.
While a complete tech detox is probably not realistic, reframing how we look at technology, social media, and now AI is vital to our mental and physical health. Using technology for what it was meant to be, tools to assist, educate, and yes, even entertain us can be beneficial and enjoyable, but recognizing when it really isn’t necessary, helpful, or fun anymore is an important skill that we are just now fully realizing needs to be taught to children and adults alike.